I have not forgotten that tomorrow I have a lab practical, and next week is my biology, organic chemistry, and physics finals…
I just haven’t started studying for any of them yet.
The end of third year hasn’t really hit me yet, evidently.
Not that I pulverized my brain with the material and am completely prepared for the tests, but just the fact that I appear calm.
On my plate I have half a study guide to complete for a lab practical tomorrow morning, three chapters of Organic Chemistry homework and a practice exam, homework due Thursday night for Physics, complete an eight-page biology study guide, and somehow study for a physics exam next week.
I don’t worry or spaz out as much as I did last year, but I have got to say, my head meets the desk much more frequently.
So I got an awful grade on my first bio exam, which upset me this morning because out of the four exams I had, this one I studied the most/hardest for.
The thing is, the entire class average—out of 202 students—was 64% (I was around that ballpark). Does that say something about the class/professors/material, or what?! I mean, if most of the class earned a D or lower, show us a little mercy and curve the damn exam!
Why am I a microbiology major???
If you compared me to who I was last year…well, we might as well be polar opposites.
This semester, I have three lectures and two labs to attend (only, and together they’re only the minimum of 12 units), and I loyally do that, so long as you ignore the fact that I haven’t been paying attention in one of my lectures, and I’ve been half-sleeping through another. The two lab sessions, I feel are ridiculous as opposed to what their first semesters were like (i.e. BIO 240—“The word ‘fun’ is in fungi, but…the class isn’t; BIO 230—“learning experiences galore”). The only class I’m actually interested in this semester is Organic Chemistry.
I’m not engaged, at all. I am distracted by anything and everything that isn’t school. Which probably explains why I did so well on my first OChem midterm, but pretty much BS’d my BIO and Physics midterms that I had this past week.
Old me would’ve crawled into a corner of my room and scolded myself into insanity. But, this week, after each of those midterms, I literally walked out and let the sunlight wash over my thoughts. In all honestly, it felt good to finally not kill myself over not doing well.
Sure, this is probably not going to pan over well this semester, but I had a good week at school. I laughed a lot. I had a wonderful three-course meal lunch with friends that I did not make in high school. I have weekly hangouts with a friend now, even if it’s just for an hour or two. My naps on BART are peaceful. I still write every now and then, and I might be a little more passionate about life.
I just need to find a balance. But this going-into-a-midterm-blind is not cool. As funny as cussing about how fucked I was about that bullshit midterm is, I’d like to make decent grades at the end of the semester. Banking on everyone else doing horrible on the exams and getting on the good side of the curve isn’t reliable.
So I’m making flashcards for my BIO midterm this Monday. Excuse me while I give myself carpal tunnel from writing about 100 new terms.
Good night.
Look, everything leads to sex!
If I can’t do the things I want to do (i.e. listening to music, reading, writing, baking etc.) I’m completely unmotivated to do anything else.
Sigh. Third year’s getting off to a slow start. No bueno.
My ochem professor said this joke yesterday…and pointed in just the same way.
(Source: hellyeahchandlerbing, via 10knotes)
—Basically. I swear. He’s a carbon copy of him. I mean, he cracked a “proton’s positive” joke and everything.
To set the bar for the next three months and put together a nice outfit that might make a statement, or keep the bar low and settling for cozy clothes that are appropriate for the rainy weather?
What a dilemma.
In some cases
